Sunday, December 11, 2005

Submariner Santa (SS) - Update

I 've received a few emails on my previous post about Santa wearing Dolphins and being Qualified in Submarines so I decided to provide an update. This update may raise more questions than it answers.

I started the previous post by saying that it was the USS Charlotte's (SSN 766) recent visit to the North Pole that had me wondering "Does Santa wear Dolphins". One proud parent of an SSN766 crew member had this to say in an email to me:

"My son went to the North Pole on the Charlotte. I asked him about Santa, but all he would tell me was "Loose lips sink ships." I could tell from the tone of his voice, he saw something. Maybe some day it will be declassified, and he can tell me all about it. "

I hope this person doesn't mind I quoted their email but it appears Santa has some sort of "need to know" clearance and may be working on an upcoming operation (NORAD video link). It appears submarine sailors know something but are keeping it silent while others service members aren't so silent.

Additional pictorial evidence of Submariner Santa or Mr. (SS) has shown up in my email box as well.

Santa has silver Dolphins?

This new evidence has raised a bit of a controversy. It appears Santa's Dolphins are silver making him a "white hat" enlisted type although some may question this observation. This doesn't reflect poorly on those who wear gold dolphins, it just means Santa has a sense of humor about his own chain of command. Why else would he send his helpers to Santa's North Pole Academy which even has a Moscow branch. We all know that Academy graduates qualified in submarines usually wear the gold Dolphins.

There you have it a Secret Santa who may wear silver dolphins and not gold. To steal a line "we present the facts you decide".

Happy Holidays - LL


WillyShake said...

As a former officer, I can assure you that I'm ok with Santa sporting silver fish. Allow me to explain... see, it makes perfect sense that Santa who, let's face it, is the real minion of Christmas, would be an enlisted man. He has to do all the manual labor of travelling all around the world delivering toys. Ok, sure he has elves; I suppose that makes him a First Class or a Chief. Fine.

But you realize from this analysis, of course, who the REAL gold dolphin wearer simply MUST BE.

Yep, it's Jesus!

I know that I am raising the stakes in this debate *just a tad* (LOL) but the logic is ineluctable. Jesus wants His birthday celebrated throughout the world, so when he left this earth, he gave standing orders to the Jolly Old Elf to see this carried out in his absence.

Makes perfect sense! LOL Thanks for a fun and provocative posting!

Lubber's Line said...

Will, I'll have to agree with your further analysis with some modification.

Jesus must wear dolphins, you know "Jesus Fish", and he does have a boat named after him, but he's the XO after all.

You see the father, GOD (GOld Dolphins) is the CO.

Glad you enjoyed the post.